Our Father’s Day

As my sister puts it . . .

Our family bleeds orange.

Persian Orange, to be exact.

We are an Allis Chalmers family.

Our father and brother restore old tractors, and every chance we get, we travel as a family to see tractor shows.

Every year, in the Amana Colonies in Iowa, The Allis Connection hosts a show that is ALL and ONLY Allis Chalmers. It’s always on Father’s Day weekend. So for Father’s Day, we took our dad to the tractor show.

Our dad LOVES talking . . . but when he’s talking tractors, look out! We stepped into the vendor barn first. My sister and I were completely done shopping, and Daddy was still over by the door talking to the first person he had met up with!

My Cowboy barely tolerates my orange obsession. He likes “red tractors”, I’m not sure of which persuasion, because naturally, the orange ones are the only ones I’m interested in. Strangely enough, he had other plans for the day and didn’t want to go with us.

So we took another die-hard orange-blooded family member with us: Deno. He was almost as bad as Daddy. When we stepped inside the vendor barn, my sister had to warn him to stop drooling. He shopped like a champ, and had barely finished with the first booth by the time Katy and I were completely done shopping . . . And they say women are bad!

The guys finally made it outside to look at the tractors, and more lengthy discussions ensued. Here’s Darin and Daddy discussing the finer points of a restoration with our friend, Dave.

It got really serious before it was over.

Meanwhile, Deno was hopping from tractor to tractor, telling me “Get a picture of this one for me. Oh, and this one. And did you get that one? Oh, and that one, too.” I made him buy me and Katy some ice cream for our trouble.

The most unusual tractor at the show this year was this one:

It’s a 1944 Allis Chalmers M-7 Snow Tractor. The Snow Tractor was used by the US Army during WWII to rescue crashed aviators in Arctic areas. This particular one is #181 out of the only 291 manufactured, and they are really fortunate to have the M-19 trailer that goes with it. It is owned and was restored in 2004 by Rich and Peg Liekweg from Iowa Falls, Iowa. You can read more about these tractors HERE.

Deno had never been to the Amana Colonies, so while Daddy and Darin were talking, Katy and I loaded Deno back in the truck and took him to town to see some of the shops. It was completely self-serving, because she and I really wanted to go to the quilt shop. But we let Deno go into a few he wanted to see after we were done with that.

The quilt shop was fabulous, and I didn’t even snap a single picture of it. It’s called Heritage Designs Quilting and Needlework, and you can see some pictures on their website. They were a Quilt Sampler featured shop in 2009. Wonderful place!

The Allis Connection hosts a big “home-cooked” meal for the members on Saturday night after the show closes up for the day, and then hold an auction after you get your belly full, the proceeds of which go into their scholarship fund. It was a great day . . .

And given that my family is quite a bunch of jokers, the hilarity during the 7 hours we were stuck in the truck together was rampant. So naturally, I collected a plethora of quotes from our day at the tractor show to share with you . . . Here we go:

“I couldn’t find myself for 30 minutes.”

“This is better than watching cartoons.”

“It’s like riding a psychotic horse through a burning building.”

“If you come outta there bitchin’, you’re just a moron.”

“Anytime you need to know something, you just ask me.”

“You even know where this thing is?”

“When that guy walked past, he said, ‘Looks kinda top-heavy to me.’, but it’s OK. I don’t think he was talkin’ about you girls.”

“I know what ‘dickhead’ looks like in shorthand, and I don’t appreciate it much.”

“It come outta my pants. It ain’t toilet paper.”

“The key to life is a good sticker.”

“I’d rather look at this than Playboy. Not that I can have anything from either one.”

“She’s the kind of woman that’d drive you to a rope and a rafter.”

“Thrice? You don’t hear Lionel Ritchie sayin’ ‘Thrice Times a Lady.’ There shouldn’t even be such a word.”

“It’s not every day you get an ovation when you come outta the bathroom.”

“They’re gonna do the River Dance. It looks really flashy with the orange shirts.”

“The price of tuition is going up.” . . . “Did he say prostitution is going up?”

“You’re supposed to avoid becomin’ emotional over a jackass.” . . . “Did she just call me a jackass?”

“Cats are ex-wives reincarnated.”

“Well, you CAN dig your grave with a fork!”

“I’ve been your little pincushion all day.”

“The roaches there were so big, they talked a different language.”

“I think he had his shorts on too tight.”

“I wanna keep Katy as my friend, cos I think she could burn a guy down pretty quick.”

“We get up in the morning and go to work. We don’t get to sit around the house rubbin’ our hernias.”

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Published in: on June 19, 2011 at 1:19 pm  Comments (4)  

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4 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I read some of these to my boyfriend, and we both about choked. Too funny!

  2. What a great day with your family! I’m thinking you should take that show on the road!!!!!

    I know just what you mean about being an “orange” family. My husband is from a red Farmall/International Harvester family (although he also has two green Olivers), and our younger daughter married into a John Deere green family. Our little grandson loves tractors, so we’ve all had to agree to a truce! He’ll have to decide for himself when he grows up, LOL!!!

  3. After reading all those quotes, I think I feel kinda reluctant to admit that I hang out with part of this bunch now and then.

  4. Sounds like fun. Reading those quotes is pretty funny. I love the Amana Colonies. Went there a lot, growing up in Iowa. Both of my grandfathers were John Deere dealers, so I’m green and yellow, through and through. My brother used to have all the metal tractors…he got one every year from my grandpa for Christmas. Wish he still had those! Worth some cash now! :-) But I’d want them for the sentimental value.


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