Dinner Conversation

My family is not normal.

Or maybe we’re really really normal.

I can’t tell.

My Cowboy and I ate supper at my sister’s last night.

Our brother,Darin, was also there, with his granddaughter, LaneyB.

It went something like this:

My Cowboy was looking through the newspaper. Darin asks him: “You just lookin’ at the pictures?”

My Cowboy: “Yup.”

Katy: “We haven’t taught him to read yet. Quit givin’ him a hard time.”

Darin: “I’m headin’ home.”

Katy: “Aren’t you eatin’ first?”

Darin: “I’m not really hungry,” then looks at My Cowboy: “Are you gonna be here awhile?”

My Cowboy: “Yup.”

Darin: “If you leave before I get back, throw that baby in the truck with you and pitch her out at the house as you go by.” (He lives on the farm next door.)

He wasn’t gone long, and returned, ready to eat dessert . . .

Darin: “What’s in that pan?”

Katy: “Lemon Bars. Or would you rather have Macaroon Pie?”

Darin: “Don’t know that I ever had Macaroon Pie. I’ll take Lemon Bars, but put some Cool Whip on ’em.”

We get him fixed up.

As he’s eating, Katy’s now taking her turn at the newspaper. She exclaims: “Shelly, here’s just what you need! ‘Free to a good home: Whippet puppy.'” (This, as she’s still in the process of trying to get me to take 2 cats she rescued from the parking lot where she works.)

My Cowboy: “Yeah, get that whippet! We’ll breed it to one of the beagles and have one helluva rabbit-chasin’ dog.”

Darin: “What would you get from that cross? A Whipple?”

Katy: “No, Dummy — it’d be a Bigot.”

LaneyB: “These noodles are shaped like butterflies . . . flappity, flappity!”

Darin: “Gimme another one o’ them Lemon Bars. Got any more Cool Whip?”

Katy: “No. I just used all the Cool Whip on the pie.”

Darin: “Well, what kind of a deal is that? Oh, Daryl Butner died.”

Me: “Well, he made it about 2 months longer than I thought he would.”

Katy: “Do I know him?”

Me: “He’s Betty Pagliai’s husband.”

Katy: “Do I know Betty Pagliai?”

Darin: “She’s Clay’s daughter.”

Katy: “I don’t know that I know Clay.”

Darin: “He’s your father’s uncle.”

Katy: “Well, I know of him, I just don’t know that I ever met him personally. Who’s his other kids?”

Darin: “Gene, Junior, and that Stroppel woman.”

Me: “Nancy, but not the Nancy Stroppel that was on the front page of the paper awhile back.”

Katy: “I know Junior.”

Darin: “I think we should go to the visitation.”

Katy: “Uff! I don’t even get to go to the ones for the relatives I do know! Should I go to this one?”

LaneyB: “This is a game I call Hippity Hoppity.”

Denny, shouting from the living room: “Hey, Katy, come here and rub my belly. It hurts.”

Katy: “You need to go to Helen Waite . . . on the roof. She’s Customer Service around here.”

Denny, to My Cowboy: “Did you hear that? She told me to go to Hell and get up on the roof!”

My Cowboy: “Yup.”

LaneyB: “I have a grandpa.”

My Cowboy: “What’s his name?”

LaneyB: “PawPaw.”

My Cowboy: “Where does he live?”

LaneyB: “At my home.”

Denny, to me: “Did you already do the dishes?”

Me: “Yup.”

Denny: “You didn’t hafta be in no hurry. I’da dun ’em.”

Me: “Yeah, right.”

Darin departs with LaneyB in tow, Denny says good night and goes to bed, Katy and me and My Cowboy watch “Joe Dakota” on the Western Channel.

My Cowboy and I get in the truck to leave.

My Cowboy says: “Drive this thing. It ain’t the Space Shuttle. It shouldn’t take that long to launch!”

We’re not normal.

Or are we? . . .

Published in: on February 1, 2012 at 10:17 am  Comments (7)  

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7 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Oh, I got a chuckle out of this, I do think that is pretty normal for some families and I think ours is one of them when we do all happen to get together, which is on rare occasion. Oh, and we too, love that Western channel! 🙂

  2. You are so funny! I love this!

  3. I plead the 5th. Shoot, normal ain’t nothin special anyhow so why would you wanna be normal? 🙂

  4. You guys are a riot! We have nothing that fun around here….but that is probably cause we aren’t as imaginative as you all are.

    I agree with the Ranch Wife….why would anyone want to be normal? We sure aren’t….we just abnormal in a different way from you all. 🙂

  5. This is absolutely the best post I’ve read ANYWHERE in a long time ROFL I had to check the names again—-thought it was written by one of MY family members ROFL

  6. I refuse to answer the question about normal? or not normal?
    But you guys are a hoot to observe. Thanks for that look inside the tribal council. Margaret Mead would be fascinated also.

  7. Oh dear, that was just funny!

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