A Cowboy’s Advice

My Cowboy is pretty good at dispensing advice, unsolicited or otherwise.

He’d dole it out to anyone at any time, if they’d only take it.

For instance, when we’re in town and we see someone do something stupid, he just shakes his head and says, “They shoulda called me first.”

He maintains he should get business cards so he can hand them out when he witnesses those things.”If they would just call me first, I could save them from themselves.”

Talking or texting on your cell phone while driving? Here’s my card . . .

Driving too fast on bad roads? Here’s my card . . .

At the jewelry counter buying an engagement ring for the wrong girl? Here’s my card . . .

Did you just belch in public in front of a bunch of women? Here’s my card . . .

A tattoo with someone’s name in it? Here’s my card . . .

That hat? Really? Here’s my card . . .

He gives me advice all the time. Frankly, I don’t know how I ever made it before he came along!

The other day I was sketching quilting designs, and I was looking for inspiration in a cowboy magazine because I want it to look “sort of” like tooled leather . . . His advice? “Just take a picture of your stepmother.”

When I whined that every single pair of my scissors is dull and they all need sharpening, his advice was: “Quit cuttin’ cheese with ’em.” Smart Alec!

We witnessed some poor soul in the last rain storm whose cheap umbrella was falling apart and providing little in the way of protection. He said, “I’d tell ’em, ‘Next time, invest in the $2 bumperchute.'”

I said: “They obviously need your card!”

He’s convinced there are potential customers world-wide . . . and from some of the things I’ve seen on TV, I’d have to agree . . .

Published in: on February 21, 2012 at 2:57 pm  Comments (4)  

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4 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. You guys are so funny. I wish I had your sense of humor and ability to share these anecdotes with us. I really love it. Thanks for making my day.

  2. You guys are a riot! LOL. I think my belly would hurt all the time around you. Who needs crunches?

    By the way, I have a great leather tooling book that I got on sale at Leather Factory that you can borrow for inspiration! That is what I got it for and it has gorgeous designs! Or do a google search for leather tooling…..Wow, talk about whole cloth inspiration!

  3. I hope your stepmother doesn’t know about the blog–but I recall your stories about her, so I’m sure he has a point.

    btw, what’s a bumperchute?

  4. “… save them from themselves …” LOL! 🙂

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